我进过的五个戒毒中心
I had to go to therapy
都强制让我接受心理治疗
in all five detox centers I\'ve been to.
有用吗
Was it beneficial?
有用的话我能进五次吗
You just heard me say five, right?
你看 我都说了 肯定没用
See, this is what I\'m saying, guys. It\'s not gonna work.
老爸 不管你愿不愿意 我们都得去
Hey, Dad, Dad, we are doing this whether you like it or not.
-能有什么害处呢 -能有什么害处
- Yeah, what harm could it do? - What harm could it do?
你看过金属乐队的纪录片吗
Did you see the Metallica documentary
他们找的那个养生大 师
where they had that life enhancement coach,
差点把毁了乐队吗
and it almost destroyed the band?
但是结果并没有 反而拯救了他们
Yeah, but it didn\'t. It actually saved them.
我们找的那个也不是什么大 师
And our guy, he\'s not a coach.
他治好了道雷 汤森德
Hey, he fixed Daltrey, Townshend,
莱昂王国乐队和空中铁匠乐队
Kings of Leon, saved Aerosmith.
他是该从空中铁匠手里救救我们
Yeah, he should have saved us all from Aerosmith.
那帮人都多大岁数了
Those guys are like 100 years old now.
我觉得乔·佩里[空中铁匠吉他手]依然很带感
Oh, I think Joe Perry\'s still got it.
我们见面的时候你说
Hey, when we met you said I had
我有种像乔·佩里那种元老级的范
a Joe Perry rock elder statesman vibe.
因为你确实有
Oh, that\'s \'cause you kind of do.
你知道谁还有像乔·佩里
Yeah, you know who else has a Joe Perry elder rock
有摇滚元老一样的范吗
statesman kind of vibe?
-谁 乔·佩里 白 痴
- Who? - Joe Perry, asshole.
乔·佩里的发型很酷
Joe Perry\'s got great hair.
史蒂文·泰勒[空中铁匠主唱]fs14也是
Hey, Steven Tyler has great hair.
他屁 股 也很翘
He\'s got a great ass too.
-真的吗 -我是个鼓手
- Really? - I\'m a drummer.
永远都对着主唱的屁 股
I\'ve been looking at lead singer\'s asses my whole life.
我知道我在说什么
I know what I\'m talking about.
你的病确实得治治了
You really got to get help, you know?
顺便问一下 我屁 股 翘吗
How\'s my ass look, by the way?
还行
It\'s okay.
-只是还行 -就是还行
- Just okay? - It\'s just okay.
天呐 他还需要治吗
Oh, my God, and he needs help?
*Sex and drugs and rock and roll*
*All right*
*All right*
*\'Cause I don\'t want to die*
*Anonymous*
*No, no*
*No, no*
*No, no*
是大海
It\'s the ocean
在亲吻沙滩
kissing the shore.
是沉着
It\'s a calm
在安宁中
and it\'s a quiet way
开始新生
to begin a new relationship.
现在
Now...
有什么疑问吗
any questions?
你真的是医生么
Are you an actual doctor?
是的 我也兼修萨满疗法
Yes, and I also practice therapeutic shamanism.
他是个巫医 我就...
Yeah, he\'s a witchdoctor. That\'s what-
我就知道
that\'s what I thought.
\"萨满疗法\"是一种疗法
\"Therapeutic shamanism\" is a--a healing process.
源于400年来美洲原住民的信仰
It\'s based on four centuries of Native American beliefs.
我是印第安纳科塔部落的认证成员
I am a recognized member of the Nakota Indian tribe.
我相信昨日的苦难
I believe a box of yesterday\'s rain
可以治愈今天的伤痛
will heal today\'s spiritual wound.
抱歉 这听起来
I\'m sorry, this-- this sounds
和Grateful Dead乐队那一套一样
like some creeped out Grateful Dead bullshit to me.
-我同意 -你赞同我
- I\'m with Johnny on this one. - You\'re with me?
-是的 -多谢 哈伯
- Yes. - Thank you, Rehab.
-不客气 -很好
- You\'re welcome. - Okay.
老兄 你是心理医生吗
Listen, man, are you an actual shrink or not?
你能开处方吗
Can you prescribe medication?
我是有执照的心理医生
I am a licensed psychiatrist.
我可以开任何食品药品管理局批准的处方药
I can prescribe any and all FDA-approved medications
以及药用植物
as well as medicinal herbs.
我现在不赞同你了
Yeah, I\'m not with you on this one anymore.
不用管强尼 医生
It\'s really not up to Johnny, Doc.
我们都很激动能来到这
We\'re all excited to be here.
是的 我很激动 医生
Yeah, I\'m very excited to be here, Doctor.
我大概有10年没见过大海了
I haven\'t been to the ocean in, like, ten years.
天呐 你能想象他穿泳衣吗
Thank God, can you imagine him in a bathing suit?
鱼见了也得看看心理医生了
The fish would need goddamn therapy.
吃方面我确实有些问题
Okay, I have a few food issues.
有些 我看全都是问题
A few? Let\'s try all. You have all the issues.
这就是我想要说的
Okay, this is exactly what I\'m talking about.
永无止境的相互针对
Okay, the finger pointing. It\'s endless, okay.
他总是对每个人的每件事
He\'s always trying to point the finger what\'s going on
都指手画脚
about everybody else.
并且 他自己酗酒还有毒瘾
Meanwhile, he\'s got booze blow issue.
不不不 我没有毒瘾
No no no, I don\'t have blow issue.
我早就不吸毒了 只是酗酒加大 麻
I stopped doing blow, I have a booze and weed issue
然而这算不上问题
and it\'s not an issue at all.
只是点 个人爱好
It\'s--it\'s just my thing.
是的 你有嗑药问题
Yeah, you got a pill problem.
嗑处方药
Prescription pill problem,
正是医生用来解决我其他问题的方式
which my doctor created to solve all my other issues.
医生 你看到他们病得多厉害了吧
Doc, you see how insane they all sound?
别听他的
Don\'t listen to him, okay.
他来这里的唯一理由 这是我女儿
The only reason he\'s here-- this is my daughter.
他来这是因为想和她上 床
He\'s here because he wants to have sex with her.
-太呐 -这是事实
- Oh, my God. - No, that\'s the truth.
这不是事实
No, that\'s not the truth.
我来这是因为我想获得宽恕
I\'m here because I believe in forgiveness.
我相信我可以摆脱过去的枷锁
I believe that I can escape the shackles of the past.
再说 琪琪是真心喜欢我
Plus, Gigi is, like, totally into me.
看吧 这才是你的答案
Yeah, there\'s your answer right there.
知道我怎么想吗
Okay, you know what I think?
我觉得这支乐队
I think that this band--I feel that this band
已经完全失去了他们最开始的
has lost sight completely of
令人难忘的东西
what made them so unforgettable starting out,
现在他们就只沉溺于
and now they\'re just hung up on stupid resentments
几百年前的怨恨
from, ke, two decades ago.
-我没有 -你有
- I\'m not. - Yes you are.
-我真没有 -你完全有
- I am not. - You totally are.
我只是活在当下 混 蛋 们
Hey, I am living in the here and now, asshole, okay?
但还留着1922年的发型
Your hairdo\'s still stuck in 1992.
他来这是为了解决对于成功的恐惧
Hey, he\'s here to deal with his fear of success,
所以别吵了
so just lay off.
在比利时演出的时候退场
Oh, failing his balls off in Belgium?
这算哪门子事
What was that bullshit?
他在4000观众面前崩溃了
He freaked out on stage in front of 4,000 people.
那是因为你给了他没审批过的药
Because you gave him untested tranqs and benzos, bushface.
那是他自己太弱了承受不住
Yeah, because the old man can\'t handle it!
我都听不到大海了
Hey, I can\'t hear the ocean.
闭嘴
Shut up!
放轻松
Relax.
好吗 让这些都过去吧
Okay? Just let it go.
我发现在音乐界
You know, I find this is very common
你们的情况很常见
in musical circumstances
乐队成员
where members of the tribe,
控制不住自己的愤怒和妒忌
they lose their way to anger and to envy,
幸运的是
but fortunately,
我对灵魂的救赎有深入的了解
I am deeply trained in the art of soul retrieval.
我可以解决所有的这些问题
I can heal all of these issues.
关于食物的 酒精的
I can heal the food and the alcohol
还有毒品的
and the drugs, you know,
因为这些都源于一种情绪
\'cause all of these things are all related to an emotion.
我接下来要做的
Now, the way I like to work is,
我想在你们自己的工作环境里
I want to have these individual sessions, okay.
跟你们分别聊聊
All of you in your own work environment,
你们都会好起来